Oscar Report 2011 a.k.a. The Live Blog!

Forgive the uninspiring title. It’s what I came up with when I did this for the first time back in 2005, when it was an actual “report”: I scribbled out notes by hand, transcribed them, then churned out an awful 3,000-word blow-by-blow account of the ceremony, hours after it was finished.

And while I’m inexplicably loyal to an idiotic name, I have — at last — shed the monodirectional nature of my “live blog” and opened things up with, y’know, an actual interactive live blog. So stop by on Sunday evening to hear some stupid asshole (i.e. me) make idiotic and uncreative remarks about a ridiculous awards show. You’re free to be a stupid asshole too.

Because I’m too dumb to figure out embedding, you’ll have to click here for the live blog

Holy shit! Is it Oscar season already?

What’s that? Revolution in Egypt? Unrest in Yemen? Government forces firing live round on protesters in Libya?

Screw those losers*, it’s statuette time!

(*Unless one of them has an entry in one of those crappy, artsy categories. Then pretend to care, momentarily.)

Yes, for the — dear God, what have I done with my life? — seventh year running, I’m doing a live blog of the Academy Awards this Sunday. I still haven’t gone to the trouble of educating myself about Hollywood any more so than I did back when I first did it in 2004. But I’m recycling many of the same jokes from then too, so it all evens out.

I dunno who’s hosting, I dunno who’s nominated, and I don’t care who wins. So stop by on Sunday, won’t ya?